Exploring Dawn

OMFG, I don’t want YAAIF (yet another AI feature). Make good apps, make great OSes, fix buggy software, add features we asked for. Leave the stuff we don’t want alone.

I’ve been a heavily invested Apple fangirl for ages. If Apple only focuses on AI, I’m not sure where I’ll end up. I hate PCs and dislike droids (phones and Star Wars). I like the 🍎 ecosystem but I don’t need these silly bells and whistles.

There’s a fascinating book coming out by Daniel Brook, called The Einstein of Sex: Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, Visionary of Weimar Berlin.

Wow, so, over 100 years ago, people were already talking about race and gender as social constructs. This wasn’t something invented a few years ago by people that Republicans and related fascists hate. And gender fluidity goes back millennia, back to the beginning of recorded history and literature.

One thing that blew my mind in this review from LitHub, is that the infamous Nazi book burning pictures we have are of Nazis burning his books from his Institute for Sexual Science, a think tank and surgical center in the 1910s and 1920s. Hitler and his Nazis burned and tried to erase his research, but it has lived on. Trump, Republicans and Christian Fascists are trying to do this today, and they will fail also.

We’re here, we’re queer, and we are strong.

You can read the article on LitHub.

Finished reading: Girl Work by Zefyr Lisowski 📚

A really good collection of poetry. I love poetry, and esp. trans poetry. I’ve feel a visceral connection with the artists and their words. I sometimes find words or emotions to explain or flesh out my own experiences.

When I finished reading, I thought abuot how to rate it. It’s weird that this book made me rethink how I like to rate items. I usually use a ranked system, 1-5, with 5 being the best. But, it doesn’t seem fair to rate poetry on a scale like that. It either grabs you or it doesn’t. And if it grabs you, I think it changes you, on some level.

That is why I always return to poetry, I think. There’s something about it that lets you think more deeply. There’s a thread, there’s scaffolding or superstructure, but you bring more of yourself to a poem since you need to provide the details. So, for poetry, I think I need to confined myself to “moved” or “unmoved”. This collection is a moved, without a doubt.

P.S. Ok, I’d give it a 5/5 if I had to but that’s just me wanting to make sure people know this is a great work, and if the poet ever ran across it, she would know that she made a difference to me. Thank you.

I’ve been doing both a bunch lately and I keep blurring the lines between something that could be inner-inner monologue vs inner-outer monologue. I think a blog like this needs to have more content that probes deeper than surface level, both for me developing as Dawn as well as others who (hopefully) stumble across my scribbles. For me, I get to explore and experience myself. For others, they get to see me for who I am as well as maybe see a bit of themselves.

That was the hardest part growing up, not being able to see other people like me, except maybe in a film or a book where they were portrayed as a monster, a scapegoat, or just a splash of non-cishet life that could be exploited for a laugh or a jump-scare.

I hope I’ll have more content soon that will explore these feelings. I’m figuring it out myself too as I go. I hope you enjoy the journal too.

The last few years, I’ve been on a kick of Canadian authors. I didn’t just wake up and say, hey, let’s read some Canadians, even though there’s no reason you shouldn’t. But, I noticed after a while, some of my favorite reads since 2020 were by these amazing Canadians listed below. Many of them may have other books and my list is just to give you one per author. If you find you like them, check out other books they may have written.

(The ordering is simply alphabetical.)

• Lisa Alward: Cocktail (2023): Alward nails each short story, never overdoing or undercooking her stories.

• Mona Awad: Bunny (2019): Oh my god, this is so beautifully twisted! I loved it and thought it was kind of like “The Craft” meets “The Secret History” meets “Heathers.”

• Gwen Benaway: Day/Break (2020): a short, beautiful collection of poetry.

• Hazel Jane Plante: Little Blue Encyclopedia (for Vivian) (2019): A powerful story told in an unusual and unique way.

• Casey Plett: A Dream of a Woman (2021): You can never go wrong with anything Casey writes, but I truly loved this collection.

• John Elizabeth Stintz: Vanishing Monuments (2020): a beautiful & sad look at aging, dementia, and becoming and unbecoming.

• Natalie Zina Walschots: Hench (2020): another fun romp, reminscient of the Boys without all the horrendous violence.

• Deborah Willis: Girlfriend on Mars (2023): This sounded like it might be too cool for school when I picked it up, but I really loved it.

• Jia Qing Wilson-Yang: Small Beauty (2016): A story that slowly builds while weaving something beautiful. A quick read that will leave a long impact on your heart and mind.

I finally was able to finish watching the most recent movie (of five) from Alice Maio Mackay that’s streaming on Shudder (and AMC+). It’s another amazing flick. If you haven’t seen this film, or any of her films, stop reading and start streaming. It’s horror, it’s art, it’s trans, it’s queer, it’s love, it’s representation.

Alice and co-writer Ben Pahl Robinson really know how to write dialogue and group scenes. I just love these in all her films. The dialogue is not stilted, preachy or expository. It feels real, almost like you’re a part of the group or sitting at the table next to them. Also, they write (and the actors emote) beautiful relationships. These aren’t two (or more) actors who play a couple or close friends. It seems like they found a couple and cast them in their film.

Speaking of the actors, I love that she has a core that she uses in all her films. It’s great seeing them come back, in similar or opposite roles. And then there’s always a new face or two that she brings in that just rock. Where does she find them?!? Just great acting by everyone.

And last, like everyone else, I have to mention the colors. The lighting and the clothes just stand out and grab you. Lola’s makeup when she’s standing down the two rednecks in the street near the end is awesome! I had to stop it and just look at a few frames. Attention to detail that works in a still as well as motion.

All of her films have touched me deeply. I see myself in these films. The words speak to my heart and mind. I wish these had been out when I was younger but they mean the world to me now.

I listened to a fantastic, if also terrifying, podcast from Imara Jones’s TransLast program. It was on The Rise of Techno-Fascism. She interviewed the journalist Gil Duran. He walked us through the extremism of Curtis Yarvin and his devoted followers/funders/enablers that include Peter Thiel, Musk, and JD Vance.

Definitely worth a listen. You can find it here.