Exploring Dawn

A simple moment of joy. I wrote a new poem after I woke up this morning. It was entitled “happy” and it talked about how many moments of joy and happiness we miss because we’re working so hard and spending so much to find happiness and joy. There is so much in nature, or among our loved ones, or even strangers.

I was walking this afternoon and came across this leaf. It was like a ton of other leaves lying around but it just struck me and I was in the moment and I was taken by it. It brought me a small measure of happiness that no amount of money or effort could buy.

Let’s all try to spend some time engaging with our surroundings and letting the little, simple joys of life inspire or just pleasure us.

While I watched the various Hollywood incarnations of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (be they the original with Boris Karloff, the spoofs with Abbott & Costello, etc.), I didn’t read her actual novel until university. In a horror films class, of course. I remember not really enjoying the book, thinking that the movie was so much better.

Thankfully, I revisited the novel once I was older. By then, I knew more about her, her life, and the Romantic era. I love epistolary novels, but the beauty of this work is that there is no monster, only The Creature and its creator, Frankenstein. The Creature taught itself to read by finding three books, Milton’s Paradise Lose, Goethe’s Sorrows of Young Werther, and one volume of Plutarch’s Lives. Wow, talk about heavy hitting philosophical treatise on life and meaning. The novel is sewn through with thoughts on life, death, meaning of life, existence, love and being an outsider, shunned for who you are. This novel continues to resonate with me at each stage of my life and journey.

An interesting study on the novel was done by Charles Robinson, in his book “The Original Frankenstein”. He worked with an early draft held at the Bodleian Library. An amazing look at how the novel originally was structured. It flowed better and was a faster read. Worth checking out if you are interested in the history of this novel.

Happiest of birthday to these two writers today, August 28th.

First up is Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (b. 1749). While often remembered today for his Faust (the first literary work I read in German), I was particularly drawn to his first novel, The Sorrows of Young Werther. I’m enraptured by epistolary novels and a lover of the Romantic movement and its precedents. The beauty of the book was its story, so well told by a young writer. Even if I didn’t always like Werther as a person, I wanted to know what he thought and how his story unfolded.

Second, J. Sheridan Le Fanu (b. 1814), an Irish writer who is mostly known today for being the writer of Carmilla, an early Gothic vampire novella. I read that first but was more taken with the collection in which it was included, “In a Glass Darkly.” That work contained 3 short stories and 2 novellas. I loved “Green Tea”, “The Familiar”, “The Room in the Dragon Volant”, and “Carmilla”. Well worth dipping in to this collection.

Coming out and revealing your truth to your friends and others is a complicated process. As I’ve posted before, sometimes you want to shout it from the rooftops, because you’re happy and confident and feel yourself, maybe for the first time, at least on a conscious level. But, other times you want to keep it low-key, and maybe tell people only if it comes up, or your presentation invites questions. Others might never ask and you might never see them, so no need to reach out to everyone you’ve ever known. I guess it comes down to how you feel and who you would like tell.

I feel like I should let my close friends know sooner, come out to them before they ask. That’s what friends do, they share with each other. I had a few friends that were top of my list. I’ve already mentioned one awhile back. I had another and I told them straight out. They were surprised but very accepting. I was close to telling another friend recently but that didn’t pan out since we were video chatting and they weren’t alone on their end. But, I’ll tell them when I can. I have friends who I trust and think will accept me who I’ll be seeing in the next few months, so I’ll be able to do it in person.

But, the important thing is you don’t have to force it. There’s no script or checklist you have to follow. Each person will figure out their own way of sharing their truth with others who matter to them. For me, it shouldn’t be like, “hey, long time no chat, btw, I’m trans.” I think it needs to organically come up, otherwise you’re likely to shock or unsettle the person you’re telling.

Kind of a long post without a ton of content, but sometimes it’s nice to write things down and share them in case others stumble across it and find something of value, even if it’s just someone else is thinking about the same stuff.